Waiting, Sometimes Patiently

I don’t have much of an update, but I’m going to post here anyway, to keep the flow going and to try and approximate some normalcy of scheduling. My desire is to get back into my creative work more fully. Yet it seems like I’m still spinning my wheels a bit.

Yeah, I know, grieving takes time, be patient, be easy on myself…  I can do that, most of the time. But tonight I’m feeling a bit frustrated. I have some time free this evening but I’m just so tired and unmotivated.  My list of things to do (not all of which relates to my goals, but much of it does) is only getting longer. But….meh.

This weekend was admittedly rather full. Friday night I had a gig with Dark Follies that went really well. Then a friend came for a visit and we hung out with him, and made a big batch (over 2 gallons) of fresh salsa. Saturday was spent getting ready for a gathering here at our place, a ceremony for my friend who passed away. We had her official memorial service a couple weeks ago, but this was a Full Moon gathering of her Pagan community. It went really well. I had lots of help with the ritual itself and with getting our home and yard ready, and everything looked lovely. I’m very pleased with the gathering, and the help I received, yet I still put a lot of energy into it, and then stayed up late visiting with friends by the fireside. Then today I got up and went to rehearsal, came home and made scalloped potatoes, then took them to the monthly family potluck next door at my Aunt’s house.

Writing all that, I guess it makes sense that I’m kind of worn out!

Other things that have been going well: my yoga practice is a blessing, I’ve been writing in my journal regularly, and I’ve gotten some lovely time outdoors this weekend. Writing and promotion? Not so much. Though I did write about yoga on my blog.

I’m trying to be patient. I’m actually not worried about the creative flow, so much as the time to open up to it. It seems like I’m slogging through all this other stuff – gatherings, daily life, planning – and I just plain run out of time for the things that are usually a priority.

My plan was to get back to writing my Starcat’s Favorites this weekend – it’s a feature on my blog where I share links folks might be interested in – but I don’t think I’m gonna get to it this time. I feel sort of vaguely guilty about all the things I could be doing to further my writing career. But not (yet) inspired to do them. Bleah.

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